Lies and Propaganda

Getting Down with my Bad Self

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

To shop or not to shop....

Oh the choices we make in life.

It's the holidays (bad enough-so many sales, so little time. One for you, two for me....) but then I started reading this book that I borrowed from my future SIL called "Shopaholic". Bad move.

The protagonist? (question mark meaning that I am not sure she actually is one, not that I don't know how to spell it or if its the correct word...get it?)
of the book would have us believe she might actually die if she doesn't get to the swankiest store on the block before it closes and purchase that silk scarf. (Granted, a bit of light reading, but hey--it's fun, and it's all written in the casually chic British vernacular...and did I mention it's about shopping? what's not to like?)

Now I am dreaming about pencil skirts and skinny scarfs, sleek pants, striped tights, new purses and bags, new boots and certainly new earmuffs. ARGGH. not a good move for a girl who is nowhere near affording the catering bill for her wedding next year. Maybe I will just say "sorry suckers! eat pb&j finger sandwiches while I enjoy my new swing coat!" HA!

My new quest: to be a buff bride. I should try to get on the show! Do they pay for your personal trainer if you do?

Yes, I think that is my new quest. I want to look fab in my wedding dress, and not just because I am the bride, either. Now I just have to figure out how to make it happen. Hmmm.....selling my body on the street might work.....it's walking, and they say you burn lots of calories when you.....YOU know....and, they pay you! TWO birds with one stone!
It's just the disease part of the equation that gets me every time.....ew. Maybe not....

oh well. will just have to resort to bank robbery or the dreaded "get another job" tact. Dang.

Course, I could always play the lottery....

Friday, November 21, 2003

holiday itch

hooo man, I can't wait for the upcoming break!

This is when being a teacher really pays off.

I am at the end of my rope, and BAM!-- vacation. Then you feel better, and don't mind heading back into the trenches. Not that I dont' enjoy my kids. Cause I do. They are pretty fun, and the musical will be a great time...It's going to be smashing! But, things have been ultra hectic of late, and I look forward to having a BREAK.

That, and my uncle has installed a hot tub at his house, so Thanksgiving is looking better and better! hot-cha-cha-cha!

We hit a catering tasting last night, and after grumpus mcgrouchypants got over his initial dislike of the people (which I can understand to a point) I think even he had a good time. Besides, it was free food AND wine, so it was really hard to complain. I suppose they don't mind giving it away for free now, because they certainly make you pay in the long run!

Anyways, I liked the caterer, although they are a bit loosey goosey. Eh...whatever. We have a few others to try, we'll see how it goes. We can take our pick in the end. I am just going to enjoy the experience while we have it.

I am really excited because we have our first CAKE tasting tomorrow. MMMM CAKE!

The funniest thing was those pics in the photo booth for our save the date cards. The handmade signs I made with "SAVE" "THE" "DATE" were too big, so you can only see half of them, and I seemed to have forgotten how quickly they take those pictures once the money is deposited. It's especially funny, because we kept holding up cards over J's face! Funny how that didn't happen to me that often...hmm.....Hilarious. You'll see....

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

oh resume oh resume, how lovely are your chances

Good gravy.

I can see why people wouldn't stay here.

"you will be fined $250 if you lose a key to the school."

good lord, if I lose my keys, I will owe the school more than my wedding is going to cost.

and sharing our theatre with another performance company is a pain in the ass, even in the best of circumstances. They moved in, and now nothing I am responsible for--mics, lighting, etc...works anymore!

and the drive. It can take me anywhere from 30 minutes (rare, but does happen) to an hour and 45 menudos! I love those mornings. eeeeech.

Time to dust it off. Sad to say, but my resume doesn't get much opportunity to acquire dust....

stupid job.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

and I live to tell the tale (part deaux)

is that how you spell that? I dunno. my french is pretty bad. Me? I took Italian. Blast the french!

okay, so. Sister is married, and no blood got on the white dress. WHEW!

It was actually a pretty nice wedding. She really did a good jorb.
I wasn't a huge fan of standing around taking endless bridal portraits, but saints alive, we all lived through it.

There were some strange goings on, though. Which J diplomatically left out of his account of the weekends activities. And since I have no sense of diplomacy, or more rather, feel that I earned the right to complain since I am related (ugh!) to all parties involved....here's the dirt.

Things that went right:

lovely flowers
beautiful bride
fun DJ
Sisters and I dancing and singing at top of lungs to Brown-Eyed-Girl
decent food
Mom mostly behaving (I am so glad to put that in the 'went right' category--you have no idea)
Relatives all showed up

Things that went wonky:

Rehearsal dinner at Perkin's pancacke house in the middle of BFE Pennsylvania, but no jeans, please. (yes, true story!)

The cathedral veil/comb incident at the hairdresser's the morning of (mysteriously, there was no velcro on the comb my sister had brought....hmmmm but the correct one was found, and properly placed...whew!)

A lit candle falling on the bride's wedding gown during the ceremony. It went out, thank god, when it fell. Otherwise, we'd have had bride flambee.

The ceremony being incredibly personalized, and was all about the B-I-L.

The toast. Oh my god. It was worse than a bad movie. I swear. This guy, bound-into-a-wheelchair-stricken-with-horrible-diseases-that-has-maybe-6-months-to-live gave the toast. So, you can understand a little bit. Or not. It was TEN MINUTES at least. It started out well enough. 10 rules for being married that I learned from my wife. etc etc....heh heh, chuckle chuckle.

But the part I really liked is when he started raving about nuclear annihilation and flesh being burned and humans vanishing off the face of the earth. I also really liked his references to the horrendous nature of mankind that allowed the holocaust. (I really just think he put that in to appeal to our side of the family. Wasn't that thoughtful? He was just trying to identify with us, you know?)
And the fear of knowing at any moment either one of my sister or new brother-in-law could be stricken down by a life shattering illness just like he is. That was good too.

This guy went on and on. It was truly unbelievable. I guess you are supposed to cut him slack because he's dying. I guess. But man, what a way to go out. UGH.

I know I seem heartless and cruel, but you weren't there. It was truly awful. Not one word about my sister and her new husband. Not one. I think he might have used their names now and again, but that's about it.

whatever.

I just ask that my friends come up with something a little bit cheerier. Perhaps they could rhapsodize on the hideous housing market in our area, or the plight of homeless families.

Alright, enough of my rant. My sister is somewhere in florida right now, enjoying space mountain. I wish her the best. And while I'm at it, I wish her some new friends.


Friday, November 07, 2003

and I live to tell the tale

Well, yesterday was our first show.

and the kids did alright.

Course, I had no way of knowing that, since I had to SIT on them the last couple of days to get them quiet backstage and hitting their cues. And then there is this little guy who just really has had his brain fried, and can't remember what to move or when to move it. Poor little freshman.

But, they really pulled it offf. I was shocked, and very pleasantly surprised. Things moved on and off stage effortlessly, for the most part. Really a treat to watch. and I sat in the back, so they sounded quiet backstage to me.... HA!

Although, I did hear that they were loud at a couple points, but hey, they are 10 feet from the audience, in some cases, so what do you expect?

Tonight soon-to-be-family sorts will be attending. I hope they think it's okay. I hope it goes well. I mean--it's a high school theatre production. What can you expect? But I hope they still like me and want me to be related to them after they see it...what stress!

in other random unrelated news, I heard a story about a guy in tenessee who sued the state after being ticketed for flashing his brights to other motorists to warn them of a hidden police car. He sued on the grounds that the police infringed on his freedom of expression. He won! go him! I thought that was cool. Stick it to the man! ha!

Meanwhile back at the ranch, we can't afford to get married, so please send your contributions by check, money order, or pay pal. and cash, cash works too....

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

you don't know me

there are people in your life who behave completely different than you remember.
you would never believe they would react the way they are reacting to some bit of information. or to your help.

and then you think, "am I REALLY related to this mass of nerouses?" Please let it not be so, because somewhere that means that the capacity to come completely unhinged lies within me also.

I think between my father and mother I am doomed. Doomed to become recalcitrant, nagging, irrational, stubborn old-lady hogwash. I apologize to all of you now. Because there is no escape from the madness.....

I feel badly for my mother, because I do think my sister has kept her out of the loop. And she probably has been nasty to my mom as well. And I can see how that would hurt my mother's feelings.

But who can blame my sister? If mom did to said sister what she's done to me (and I've only dealt with it for a few weeks, this has been going on for a year and a half!) I can't really blame sister. For shutting mom out.

Mom doesn't calm down.
She doesn't listen to reason. Often she doesn't listen to anyone, because she is too busy listen to herself freaking out.
She reminds you about the same things 15 times in one phone call.
She prods pokes and harasses you to do one thing or the other.
She makes grand pronouncements about what you 'can' and 'can't' do at your own wedding. (I am particularly fond of being ordered around.)
She makes herself sick when she gets stressed out. (now a constant)

(oh god---She IS turning into my grandmother!)

And all this is especially hard to deal with when it comes topped with a heavy helping of "you are so incompetent, you don't know what you are doing." Which is the standard mom tone for dealing with said sister.

Mom has also started using this tone with me. It's frustrating, and condescending--to say the least.

I just....
I wish mom could be big enough to see that this wedding is not about her.
I wish she'd play nice until at least next week. It's called sucking it up.

But since none of those things are going to happen...I get to be the referee. Lucky me.

Let's get on with it then. and now for Round 3 DING DING DING....

Sunday, November 02, 2003

weekend? we don't need no stinking weekend!

I love working both saturday and sunday. LOVE IT.

I should at least be using this computer to get some MORE work done while I sit here, waiting to talk to a bunch of people who don't know me, but I am not.

I'm so embarrased that I let this Halloween go. I mean, you only get a finite number of Halloweens--you shouldn't waste them, right? Well, I had NO costume. I didn't even go for my standard 'farmer girl' costume that I use when I can't think of anything. I suck. We were the only ones at Joe's party with no costume. I guess it's just as well. I didn't have the time nor energy to wash purple dye out of my hair and glitter off my face before I went to sleep. All I want to do these days is sleep. I am either working or sleeping. It's pretty sad.

The next few weeks are gonna be rough. and then, when they are over....I have jury duty! yay me!

maybe i can tell them I am part of a neo-nazi group with ties to the mob, and that everyone is guilty until proven innocent.
hmm.

Does anyone have any good ways to get out of Jury doody? I'd sure be interested....

My problem is that I am too honest. I will have trouble just out and out lying. Plus that's illegal. Damn my conscience!