funkadelic

I managed to be at home for over a week and had nothing to show for it. Nothing.

Well, my taxes are done, but I don't really count that as an act of heroism. At least, not yet-anyways.

I didn't read any fabulous manifestoes.
I didn't construct any amazing manuscripts.
I produced not one work of art.
I barely posted on this here blog.
I didn't clean and organize a closet like they tell you to in those fancy "organize your life" magazines.

I am very disappointed in myself. I rested, caught a cold (thanks J) and generally kept the couch (and the Bean) occupied. Shame Shame.

events to come

I had a dream last night.

I was at my dad's old house in Houston. We had gone down for a visit. When we got there, there was a car parked in the driveway, so we pulled in behind it. And then on our right, a city bus pulled up and past us into the garage.

My Dad came out and told me that he had brought my grandfather down for a visit, but he had him take the bus, because it was too hard for him to fly these days. I was very excited, because I don't get to see Pop very much. So, I was pleased in my dream as we got out of the car to go inside.

But then I woke up.

I know Pop is getting old. He has been sick, and frail. And he's 87 years old! I know. But it will be so hard when it happens. And it is going to happen soon.

land of the half-price

It's a fact. I love a sale. I have trouble resisting a sale. Retailers know this. I think they have secretly marked me, and now they can all see me coming. However, I feel that I am sly.

I never pay full price for anything. I hog coupons like you wouldn't believe.

Today for instance, I saved $35.oo at the grocery store. $10 with coupons alone, and another $25 by purchasing what was on special. You know, club card special. Yeah, yeah, yeah... sure it is linked to the government, and they can spy on what I purchase, but hey...it saves me money. So what if they know that I have a cat, eat only raisin bran, have an affinity for onions, garlic, and pre-packaged salads. I saved $35.00! That is enough to purchase another pair of shoes!

mmmm.....shoes.....

oh the deliciousness

ahhh....

Spring Break.

I fielded about 412 questions today about "are you going anywhere for the break?" No. No I am not. I wish I was, but alas. I might see if there is a cheapie ticket to dallas, but then, I don't even know if any of my tx pals are even around. I have some stuff to do this weekend (wedding) and then plenty of stupid stuff to keep me busy next week: errands and junks.

One work pal is going to India (how cool!) and one is going to San Francisco (how fun!) and one to upstate NY (well, at least it's out of town, you know?)

Is my jealousy showing?

not much it isn't.

Oh well. I will have to bide my time till our trip to Vegas! Vegas baby! Where I will have the wedding I have always dreamed of: Elvis, here we come!

Girls gone wild

I went to my first "wild and crazy" bachelorette party. I mean, mine was fun, but I wouldn't really list it as "crazy"--except for a 7 month pregnant dancin' lady who got her butt grabbed--I would say it was fairly tame. Fun-but tame. Besides, her butt always gets grabbed when she is out with me...what's THAT about? Oh, and this prego girl? Well, her bachelorette was pretty tame too, except for the whole penis-tiara fiasco. But hey, we all get our moment in the sun, you just may have to wait in line....

Things that make for a rowdy night:

• Brand-new 2004 limo with a bar and LED & laser lights driving us to Baltimore
• Getting repeatedly hit on by other women (apparently my new hairdo is "the lesbian special")
• Phrase of the night: That's hot!
• Blowjob shots
• Dancing on the bar
• Dry Humping. Lots of dry humping. Don't ask.
• Liquor and Pot
• Licking whipped cream off the chest of a nearly-naked, musclebound, sweatmongering, jungle-juice slinging, man-whore*

Did I mention I knew only one other girl besides the bride?

It was pretty fun though, considering I didn't know anyone. It's amazing the camraderie that springs up during these events. They might not even talk to you when it's over, but while you are all out there, you are a TEAM!

*for the record, and if anyone is snooping around trying to make trouble...this wasn't done by the bride-to-be, if that gives you any idea of the kind of night it was.....**

**And it wasn't me either, you dirty readers! Shame on you!

ya-freakin' hoo. It's over!

Yes, I can emerge back into real life now, as "the show that ate my life" is over.

I have done much sleeping with the Bean this week, as it has been the only thing I can manage. But now I want to plan trips, see friends (if I have any left) and begin my workout routine in earnest.

For anyone who was wondering, the show turned out really great. All thanks to me. No really. I had very little help, if any. In fact, most of the people I work with actually tried to get in my way and impede the show's progress. But then I poisoned them. Or wished I had. But now I am on the other side, and man....8-3 sounds good to me!

anyways...party time! yes!