pressure cooker

Guess what I get to do this weekend?

Let's start with things I DON'T get to do:

1. Climb mount everest. No climbing for me.
2. Sitting on a beach somewhere with me toes in the sand and a fruity, frosty drink cooling off the fingers. With lots of sunscreen on hand, of course.
3. hitting a racous punk band concert.
4. Performing for the Queen of England.
5. Working on school stuff. Which isn't such a bad thing, in retrospect.....

BUT:
what I am doing....
BRIDAL SHOWER HELL.
For my sister.

my mom is in a terrible state these days, feeling like the rest of the world owes her for this whole affair. or at least owes her enough to show up for it.
SO, between MY family, and the impending beloved's family (that's another whole can of beans)...I'd not be surprised if someone doesn't run screaming from the house. someone, like...ME!

Will keep you up to date.
Wish me luck....

She's Crafty

So, this is what happens always when I am so busy I can't see straight.
I get creative. I get great ideas. I want to work on them all right now.
This is why this girl needs to be busy.

I might not be organized, or clean, but I get veeeery creative when I have this much on my plate.

But, to satisfy my urge to produce funky cool shit, I covered a bulletin board with fabric and trimmed it in ribbon. It looks cool. I was pleased.
and, it's functional. Who knew this girl was so v. handy?

oooye

Tis so much work to get ready for one's school year.

However, June, July and August make it all worth while. and also those winter days off....

:D

anyhoo.

just workin hard. and steering clear of insane family members (my grandmother) who want to corner me and J to make demands on our intentions.

good heavens!
Does she think we are retarded?
What does she think we are thinking of?

I hope that this is not a precursor of what I have to look forward to when I get old. Cause frankly, it doesn't seem like fun. You'd think if someone was still around to see 80, she'd generally be happy to be conscious enough to see that her nearest and dearest are actually happy. But no, not programmed that way. SIGH.

well, off to get some zzz's. I have LOTS to do tomorrow. Am wrestling with others to nail down a musical for this year tomorrow. Wish for me to break a leg...or something....

Oh Yes

Now I remember what it was like to be teaching.

Everyone wants something from you, and you have five million things to do, but you can't remember any of them. AND your office is wrecked. But that is standard.

Hmm.

Forgot about all the wackiness that teaching entails.

But, it's been fun. And it probably will be fun. well, at least not boring. Teaching is lots of things, but never boring.

and so far, I've been perceived as (well, I think, anyways) as funny and nice by my other new teacher folks.

which is good.

And, I've met some nice folks too. Although i am suspect of one person in particular. I don't know if we will get along. But I figure, if enough people like me and my ideas, then i have a better chance of winning him over.

It is a bit of a consolation to me that I have teaching experience under my belt already. I am not worried about discipline problems. I am worried about the five shows I am supposed to TD. YIPE!

But it will be fine. I will be very busy, which I will like.
and although the drive is east-jesus-the-other-side-of-the-world, it isn't too bad, actually. Gives me time to think. Heaven knows I need that...

We are going home to phili for a dinner party for me grandparents wedding anniversary. it's alot of years. 62? 64? I don't know how many exactly, but it makes my head hurt to really think about it.

anyways, I am taking lots of forms and stuff with me this weekend, and the wifi laptop the school has provided. which wont help me at all, because my mom has NO internet access at all, let alone a router. boo hiss.

I will leave you with this mornings events:

To preface: we have been bird-sitting for J's uncle's parakeet. His name is Bird Blue, and he sits on our kitchen table. We play lite jazz for him when we leave for the day.
J: (while wiggling his hips in front of the bird cage)lalalallaalalalallaaa
Me: what are you doing to that poor bird?
J: the lambirdie.

Good night folks!

t minus 20 hours and counting

okay. well.
I actually have to be at work tomorrow at 8:30 AM. across town. no, across the world. I am actually driving to another STATE to work. From the vantage point of being a Texas girl, that is a pretty freaky thought.

But i guess around here it ain't no thang. Now I just have to get everything done today. aiiieeee!
many errands to run, things to get, stuff to find....ack! ack!
too much to do.
so I guess I should stop yappin about it and DO it!

but a quick story first....

Me (on phone): guess what? we are in violation of our historic building code with our unsightly satelite dish! Whatever shall I do? call the installers?
J (on phone): nonsense! How hard can it be to move it ourselves?

(note the day on the top of this posting)
Me: good thing we have DVD's to watch all week...
J: Shut up.
Me: and books. Lots of books...

SIGH

arachnids

So, between being terribly bored and horribly stressed about my new job at the same time, I have to fight spiders! SPIDERS!

They like our new house almost as much as we do. although, they don't like our bedroom much. But that is okay, because neither do we. If even the spiders won't go in there, that should tell you something.

Stupid bedroom. hopefully the new furniture will help. It just doesn't feel like we live in there. I think it's cause the room is the wrong color. perhaps I should paint it in the next few days. I don't think anyone would mind... Or at least just one wall. I think that would help. Hm.

At any rate, thank heavens for dustbusters. I am just afraid to open it, because I am not entirely sure that dustbusting spiders actually kills them. and that is the last thing i need, 40 spiders running around when i open it up. I think that is a job for the boy. what do you think?

He should come home soon. If he doesn't, there might not be anything to come home to. I might be eaten by swarms of angry spiders demanding the release of their friends...

alone

am lonely.

bf, who I worked very hard at getting him to agree to move in with me, and all the other rites of passage that go along with said move, has gone away. For work.

am bored out of gourd.

I've had time to work on the new work situation. I've decided I just have too much to do.
Perhaps i will take a nap...NO! I will come on strong. i will get my ass motivated and get things organized. I just wish the nightmares would stop. about me, teaching with no clothes on. About me, not understanding why all the other teachers are laying around wearing floaty clothes and lying about resting on huge cushions to seem more enlightened.

i have two types of dreams about teaching. In one, I am genius teacher who excels in face of horrifying odds and behaviors and appropriately handles each potentially disasterous situation. I wake up feeling like a very good teacher, who is exceedingly prepared and ready to go back to teaching. I need more of these. Cause the other type of dream, I am a ninny. a useless human, good for nothing except babbling on about why I wasn't prepared, why i didn't know how things work. etc. on and on. In these dreams, I generally do something with the kids or the parents that immediately turns into mass chaos. it is a bit less than reassuring when i wake up with these dreams. oof.

I just don't know what I am facing. I don't know anyone there, I have no allies. At least at home, when I was teaching, as bad as things got, I always had K on my side. an ally. a reassurance. a partner in crime. i don't know very many folks at this place, and on top of not knowing how anything works, I have to work at making new friends as well. that thought makes me tired.

I used to like that idea. New friends, new life, new start. now it makes me tired to think of it. I tire of investing in people who turn out to be disappointments. it's unfortunate. I mean, of course, not everyone turns out that way, and yes, even people i don't like/talk to anymore had value in my life, because well, I learned something from them. I guess. i know i know. but having to start over at 30. well, it's a bit daunting.

I think I am in a bit of a funk. I don't know what to prepare for this first trimester, yet I don't want to look unprepared. how do you teach a class with 3 kids? instead of a class with 35? 35, I know what to do with. i worry that 3 will just expect me to know more or be more or something.

I just need to get in there and get on with it. I am heading up there tomorrow. I can see what I can stir up....

i miss j.
this apt is huge, and a bit creepy without him. i hope he comes home soon.

short trip

My poor sister.
She was about five minutes from actually reaching her vacation destination (my house) when she got a phone call. A friend, her boyfriend's BEST friend, was killed in a car accident.

She went back home today.

What do you even say?

Some people are cursed with deadly, genetically pre-disposed diseases that run in their family. Apparently, anyone who knows me or my family is at high risk to go out by car crash. WHAT THE HELL?

I feel very badly for my sister, and her boyfriend. How awful. I mean, can you imagine? If your best friend... I can't even think about it.

I am very sorry for them, and the family of the lost boy. My thoughts go out to them.

things left to do

1. buy carpets so the floor stops cracking and screaming when we walk on it.

2. buy window locks for the downstairs windows to keep out the pesky earthworms. (true story!)

3. get filing cabinet to store and lock all our oh-so-important-top-secretest papers.

4. a million little piddly things to fix, hang and otherwise find homes for. ugh.

But, we aren't doing much of that today, as we are welcoming ratty seester, and lovely aunt for a fun filled weekend of city bopping-around-ing. hmm. not really a word. oh well.

back in the saddle again

we are back online! yahoooo!
genius bf fixed internet connection. stupid dsl people. grrr. verizon, you are the bane of my existence (shakes fist!)


what a dark and dreary week it's been without you, oh internet....


remind me that the next time I feel like moving (cause I aint doin it any time soon, let me TELL you...) it should be to california.
AHhhhhhh. California. It's gorgeous. I just want to play on the beach and hit all the junk stores...(they have amazingly good junk in long beach, go fig.)


the wedding was lovely. very laid back yet elegant at the same time. very classy. low key. it was all about location location location. Never seen anything like it.
very nice. and his relatives were really nice to me, except for I'm sure his cousin eric thinks I'm a freak. I thought he was J during the rehearsal dinner, and patted him gently on his...lower back. HA! you thought I was going to say rump! but i fooled you! either way, it was still fairly embarrassing. I thought he was J from behind. the only two boys there in blue linen shirts. ugh.
and then, as we thanked them, and said good bye from the wedding, i conked my head against his so hard, i am sure I dislodged a cheekbone. oof. maybe he was too drunk to notice, or care. sheesh. oh well. he was still nice to me, in spite of these idiotic things.

However, I was not my witty self most of the weekend. I better get that back in a hurry, or those high schoolers are going to eat me for lunch. that is about the only thing I have goin for me is that I am usually quicker than they are. SIGH. it's gonna be a rough year....

back to regularly scheduled life...must run errands, must put house back together... we are having company this weekend. nothing like putting in a hard and fast deadline for the unpacking process...