you don't know me

there are people in your life who behave completely different than you remember.
you would never believe they would react the way they are reacting to some bit of information. or to your help.

and then you think, "am I REALLY related to this mass of nerouses?" Please let it not be so, because somewhere that means that the capacity to come completely unhinged lies within me also.

I think between my father and mother I am doomed. Doomed to become recalcitrant, nagging, irrational, stubborn old-lady hogwash. I apologize to all of you now. Because there is no escape from the madness.....

I feel badly for my mother, because I do think my sister has kept her out of the loop. And she probably has been nasty to my mom as well. And I can see how that would hurt my mother's feelings.

But who can blame my sister? If mom did to said sister what she's done to me (and I've only dealt with it for a few weeks, this has been going on for a year and a half!) I can't really blame sister. For shutting mom out.

Mom doesn't calm down.
She doesn't listen to reason. Often she doesn't listen to anyone, because she is too busy listen to herself freaking out.
She reminds you about the same things 15 times in one phone call.
She prods pokes and harasses you to do one thing or the other.
She makes grand pronouncements about what you 'can' and 'can't' do at your own wedding. (I am particularly fond of being ordered around.)
She makes herself sick when she gets stressed out. (now a constant)

(oh god---She IS turning into my grandmother!)

And all this is especially hard to deal with when it comes topped with a heavy helping of "you are so incompetent, you don't know what you are doing." Which is the standard mom tone for dealing with said sister.

Mom has also started using this tone with me. It's frustrating, and condescending--to say the least.

I just....
I wish mom could be big enough to see that this wedding is not about her.
I wish she'd play nice until at least next week. It's called sucking it up.

But since none of those things are going to happen...I get to be the referee. Lucky me.

Let's get on with it then. and now for Round 3 DING DING DING....