and I live to tell the tale (part deaux)

is that how you spell that? I dunno. my french is pretty bad. Me? I took Italian. Blast the french!

okay, so. Sister is married, and no blood got on the white dress. WHEW!

It was actually a pretty nice wedding. She really did a good jorb.
I wasn't a huge fan of standing around taking endless bridal portraits, but saints alive, we all lived through it.

There were some strange goings on, though. Which J diplomatically left out of his account of the weekends activities. And since I have no sense of diplomacy, or more rather, feel that I earned the right to complain since I am related (ugh!) to all parties involved....here's the dirt.

Things that went right:

lovely flowers
beautiful bride
fun DJ
Sisters and I dancing and singing at top of lungs to Brown-Eyed-Girl
decent food
Mom mostly behaving (I am so glad to put that in the 'went right' category--you have no idea)
Relatives all showed up

Things that went wonky:

Rehearsal dinner at Perkin's pancacke house in the middle of BFE Pennsylvania, but no jeans, please. (yes, true story!)

The cathedral veil/comb incident at the hairdresser's the morning of (mysteriously, there was no velcro on the comb my sister had brought....hmmmm but the correct one was found, and properly placed...whew!)

A lit candle falling on the bride's wedding gown during the ceremony. It went out, thank god, when it fell. Otherwise, we'd have had bride flambee.

The ceremony being incredibly personalized, and was all about the B-I-L.

The toast. Oh my god. It was worse than a bad movie. I swear. This guy, bound-into-a-wheelchair-stricken-with-horrible-diseases-that-has-maybe-6-months-to-live gave the toast. So, you can understand a little bit. Or not. It was TEN MINUTES at least. It started out well enough. 10 rules for being married that I learned from my wife. etc etc....heh heh, chuckle chuckle.

But the part I really liked is when he started raving about nuclear annihilation and flesh being burned and humans vanishing off the face of the earth. I also really liked his references to the horrendous nature of mankind that allowed the holocaust. (I really just think he put that in to appeal to our side of the family. Wasn't that thoughtful? He was just trying to identify with us, you know?)
And the fear of knowing at any moment either one of my sister or new brother-in-law could be stricken down by a life shattering illness just like he is. That was good too.

This guy went on and on. It was truly unbelievable. I guess you are supposed to cut him slack because he's dying. I guess. But man, what a way to go out. UGH.

I know I seem heartless and cruel, but you weren't there. It was truly awful. Not one word about my sister and her new husband. Not one. I think he might have used their names now and again, but that's about it.

whatever.

I just ask that my friends come up with something a little bit cheerier. Perhaps they could rhapsodize on the hideous housing market in our area, or the plight of homeless families.

Alright, enough of my rant. My sister is somewhere in florida right now, enjoying space mountain. I wish her the best. And while I'm at it, I wish her some new friends.