Lies and Propaganda

Getting Down with my Bad Self

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Homo-ners

That's right....you read correctly....

We bought a house! Technically, I guess we haven't actually BOUGHT it yet, we just have a signed contract. But, if the inspections and piles of financing paperwork appease the gods of both Fannie and Mae...we will have bought it! Hooray hooray!

Yes, this means yet ANOTHER move....but at least we will be staying put for several years afterwards.

We will publish gobs of pictures as soon as we can.
But for those of you who want the facts....it is a duplex with two bedrooms, one bath with a finished basement w/ utility room (ahh, laundry at home!). We have a screened in porch on the back of the house, and a SHED in the backyard. We don't have any grass, because the front of the house is all landscaped with flowers and shrubs, and the back yard is all mulch--with several flower beds. No lawn mowing!

And natch, you are all invited to visit, in about 3-6 months....it will take us about that long to find the guest bed!

did you ever...

see Wedding Crashers?

Do you know that scene, where at the dinner table, this very proper (and seemingly normal & loving) family starts behaving slighly horrifically and they sort of turn on each other like hungry wildebeests? Yeah, that was sort of my weekend.

Grandmother was complaining to Middle Sister that she doesn't call enough, and that she has to do better. Uncle was heckling his teen son about losing the cell phone. ("Don't you know not to loan it to friends? Don't ever hand your cell phone to a friend--for any reason!") Aunt was trying to calm down Uncle, who before the party was also berated by Grandmother because he "doesn't look good, and has been losing too much weight." (This comment and other similar comments were made directly to the Uncle himself.) During said exchange right before dinner, Grandmother was peeved when Uncle then defended himself and became offended by her comments. Grandmother complained to Mother the entire way to the restaurant that Uncle is a difficult person who doesn't have any patience for her.

Grandparents are deaf, so they talk very loud in restaraunts and -per the norm- got into yelling matches with the waiters & other family members trying to help them order-- and when it arrived, more yelling over what they did or did not order.


While it was nice to see everyone, I was sort of hoping it would turn into a full-fledged melee--my money is on my Grandmother.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

humpday update

comp'ny. loads o' comp'ny this weekend. Twas fun.

it was fun to have people not normally in my house, in my house. But do you ever notice that having company prevents you from really living your life like normal? Like, you don't call your mother and you forget to take your medicines and you can't seem to remember to water your flowers or pay your bills...like somehow if you did these things, you would be a host remiss? I feel that way...like every second should be devoted to needs of company. I don't mind...I love it really....it's fun. But I totally forget what I usually do when we have people around, like I have been drinking mind erasers.

And, although I love summer...I love everything about summer, the heat, the option to pool, the thought of beaches and sand....I honestly get sorta freaked out with all this time on my hands.I went from baking & cooking and an honest effort to mobilize and exercise OH, and successfully fighting back the hordes of Satan's Minions--to really slugging it out on the couch. Full fledged slug. But the next two weeks will take care of that...I have 3 trips in the next two weeks, four actually, if you count us heading to Louisville to take my sister to her next gig over labor day weekend. Now if I can just keep those pesky needles out of my foot....


We are taking a jaunt to Virginia Beach via J's work. I am excited, as I have never been. I will be on the beach by myself, as J has to work while we are there, but I am excited to go. So, perhaps this will snap me back to normal after living a life with Law & Order 6 times a day. Really. *DUNT DUNT*

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Playing housewife

**hot poop everyone!

Since I seem to be eminently unemployable this summer (turned down by Ann Taylor Loft, Randstad temp agency, my old job at M&M, and A dog walking company), I have taken up the last ditch effort at gainful emply to become a housewife, however temporarily. I do laundry, I bake (complete with apron), I cook all meals, I vaccuum, I grocery shop, I do errands, I clean....I am making such an effort, I even do the DISHES.

But I fear, I am failing there too. We have these damn flying bugs in the house, and when we removed the source (the breads mentioned by husband), I thought they'd leave. But they don't leave. Ever. I am going mad, and I am afeared to use chemicals because of the Bean. So I stand at the sink for many hours a day, and squash them. I have probably killed 30 or 40 of them in the last week, and still, they fly all over. I don't know what else to do. I even went to a website called "What's that Bug" to see if I could identify the critters so I'd know how to get rid of them. I looked at countless bug pictures until I felt queasy, and I still don't know what they are. So, I'll just refer to them as Satan's minions.

If you have any suggestions on how to rid the house of Satan's minions (I swear at this point I will even do excommunications if you think it will help) I am all ears.

Please help. I don't want to be fired from this job too....


**I couldn't remember the word I was looking for in the top of this post that warns someone when they are about to read something sickening. So, I looked up "warning" on dictionary.com. You will be pleased to know that one of the synonyms for warning as a "communication, noun, information" was the term "hot poop".